Level of difficulty – pretty damn easy (the eating bit) .
Step 1. Start on a Sunday night, preferably at around 7pm when you are writhing around in pain on the floor at the idea of returning to work on Monday. You need a baking distraction.
Step 2. Find two rotting bananas in the cupboard (they don’t have to be rotting. Or in the cupboard)
Step 3. Search for a recipe (this one is dreamy Banana Bread with Chocolate Choc Chips & Candied Ginger)
Step 4. Begin to cream, mix, sift, chop and mash. Sing something if you want to. Bananarama is a good choice.
Step 5. Cook for an hour. At around about the time you should be going to bed the house will start to smell of cake baking. Mmmmmmm caaaaaaayke.
Step 6. Remove from oven, remove from tin. Eat a large warm slice. Just to check it’s cooked. Debate eating more but resign yourself to knowing that you are too old to eat cake at 10pm and think it's ok.
Step 7. Head off to bed feeling smug. ‘Ha! All you saddo people in the office tomorrow morning, you have no idea how amazing I actually am. I blow smoke in your general direction.’ (This bit may only happen to me, in my crazy banana bread head).
Step 8. Have a long cr@ppy day. This part is not optional by the way.
Step 9. Rush towards the cake. Make tea. Slice cake. Eat cake. Slice another piece (it’s ok, there are no calories in home made cake). Eat the second slice. Slices should be an inch thick. Eat half a third slice. Ok, who am I kidding, eat all of slice number three.
Step 10. Day two, repeat steps 8 & 9. Now, I did this after having a long chat with God out in my garden about the way things are going down here for me and that it’s not funny anymore and that I am due a lottery win/date with George/a knighthood. I’m sure I got a sign to eat cake. At this point I should say that it’s not compulsory to chat to your Maker before eating the cake. It’s always important though to be grateful for the cake and other stuff that you have.
And that girlfriend, is how to consume an entire banana cake in 2 days.
Over and out.
(with thanks to Molly Wizenberg for a knock out recipe)