Thursday, 14 July 2011

The Things that kept me from Blogging this Week...

Hmmm, knitting. Yes, I'm knitting. A lot. And I think I am loving it just a little bit too much.

These are my little peeps. Jnr Jnr [on the left] was 2 recently and Jnr Snr turned 4. I made a 'Pinkasauraus' and we celebrated over the course of a week. They are 2 years and 5 days apart. It should make for many amusing parties over the years.

Yes, he is a cheeky as he looks. And he is becoming more and more independent with each passing minute. Where Jnr Snr was a fairly amiable toddler who rarely cried, Jnr Jnr is a screamer. He screamed for the first 5 months of his life in fact, however that was hardly his fault. He had silent reflux and quite bad colic. A hellish combination which left me mindless and rather crazy for a while back there. He is a delightful child but there are days when I feel like I am butting up against a will stronger than anything I have encountered before. Give. Me. Strength.

And here is my first-born. He is a beautiful, bright amazingly inquisitive child. He has an amazing grasp of the English language and will often use expressions he has heard, in context in his everyday conversations. The latest little quirk is answering every question with 'Of Course!'. Very, very cute.

Now I didn't make this but I so wish I could. I bought a beautiful cowl from Etsy a couple of weeks ago. My mother [the knitting & crochet Queen] took one look at it, tut tutted and made me at similar cowl in 3 hours; complete with pink rosette. I will learn to crochet, I will.

Mr Right bought a set of coasters a while back. This is my favourite. And quite apt for me at the moment. I do have less room in my head these days for frippery, which is sad as I just love a bit of frippery. I love pretty things and wandering around just taking in my surroundings. When you have 2 kids under 5, there really isn't much time left for aimless wandering. I do try to make time for myself. To some degree, this is what this blog is. I am constantly writing posts in my mind - the problem is finding them when I do have the time to stop and type!

They say this time passes quickly. That my boys will soon be off my hands and I will miss these days. In my darker moments when I find myself yelling to be heard / understood / obeyed, I confess that I do wish this time away.

When I feel harassed and crazy I wonder if other mothers feel as I do. Whether they too yearn for an hour where nobody is asking them questions or wanting their attention. It is in those dark moments when I'm simultaneously yelling at my kids and beating myself up [mother-guilt gives you the special ability to do that] I feel like the worst mother in the world. However, when sanity eventually prevails I find myself thinking that I am sure I'm not the only woman who feels this way, who struggles as I do and who finds that the voice of mother-guilt is always louder than her own. I'm sure I'm not.

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