2005: The Perils of Shopping

This is an email exchange between Anita and I in late 2005. By this stage I had moved to Manchester, but was still working for the same company where Anita and I met in London 5 years earlier. As I read this it just makes me giggle. Thankfully, some things never change...

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:40
To: Claudine
Subject:


I was in Boots when you called I think - no reception on my phone in there. I tried the perfume called Echo - quite nice. The girls at our Benefit counter are unbelievably pushy and I go nowhere near them now!


From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:44

To: Anita

Subject:


I had a green-eyed (I'm talking emerald green eye-shadowed monster from hell) get into my personal space at the Red Earth counter today. I said 'no, just looking thanks'. She didn't move from my elbow and asked 'would you like to trying anything?' I repeated 'no thanks, just looking' and eventually she shoved off. Can't bear that!! They either ignore you, look disdainfully at you or attach themselves to your hip!

From: Anita
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:47
To: Claudine
Subject:


I hate they way they follow you around expecting you to steal - I always feel guilty and end up trying to show them I am not a thief, next time they hover I am going to loudly discuss my bad case of shingles.








From: Claudine
Sent: 22 November 2005 14:52
To: Anita
Subject:


I ignore them mostly. If they think I'm thieving that's their problem. I guess so many people do steal they have to be vigilant. Makes you wonder what they must think of you eh?


I was looking at costume jewellery in House of Fraser today and the visual display woman was hovering so I tried on every single ring in the tray with my plastic bag hanging from same hand I was putting rings on. She almost frothed at the mouth!

Thomas Sabo Ring

Thomas Sabo Ring

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 15:08

To: Claudine

Subject:

I'm going to steal something one day - just to check if they are really paying attention! I might regret it though once I have been arrested, charged and handcuffed.

From: Claudine

Sent: 22 November 2005 15:16

To: Anita

Subject:

I think the regret will kick in when your one phone call is to your mother.

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 15:32

To: Claudine

Subject:

Oh god yes! I would want to be chatting to everyone and would only get one call!! I just sneaked back to Boots to buy a lippie I saw earlier - shopgirl came and stood RIGHT next to me and tidied the nail polishes. I AM NOT A THIEF!

From: Claudine

Sent: 22 November 2005 15:39

To: Anita

Subject:

We should get little business cards made out that say 'I AM NOT A THIEF' and hand them to shop assistants who encroach on your personal space.

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:00

To: Claudine

Subject:

Mine would say:

'Thanks very much for standing on top of me and assuming I will steal anything I am looking at. Back off shop girl.'

Or is that just nasty ?

From: Claudine

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:09

To: Anita

Subject:

I just had to explain to a colleague why I laughed out loud. Again. He didn't agree that shop assistants hang around him assuming he'd steal. Maybe its just you and I...

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:11

To: Claudine

Subject:

Perhaps it's just focused on the theft of cosmetics ??

From: Claudine

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:12

To: Anita

Subject:

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

Perhaps.

I love that word.

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:19

To: Claudine

Subject:

You can shorten it to Praps or drag it out Puuuuuuurrrrrrrhaps

I need to get out more.

From: Claudine

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:25

To: Anita

Subject:

I need to get out more.

::raises eyebrow and reaches for the anti-psychotics::

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:47

To: Claudine

Subject:

I need to get out more.

::Raises glass and reaches for lippie::

From: Claudine

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:49

To: Anita

Subject:

She needs to get out more

Her friends whisper while watching her smear the wrong shade lippie across her forehead.

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 16:51

To: Claudine

Subject:

'bet she stole that' they whisper.

From: Claudine

Sent: 22 November 2005 17:00

To: Anita

Subject:

As the muttering ensues around her she reaches into her voluminous handbag and drags out a carton of milk. Carefully opening it she...

[By this stage I figured this was not going to end so I left my turn open ended. Anita's response...]

From: Anita

Sent: 22 November 2005 17:16

To: Claudine

Subject:

…proceeded to launch her mini missile carefully

disguised as a pint of Rachel's Organic milk, she hit

the little red button on the side of the rocket and

counted down the seconds until lift off...